Thursday, January 14, 2010 | 7:29 PM | (0) RESPONSES

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Title /5

Forewords /10

Plot /20

Originality /5

Grammar/Spellings/Transitions /15

Flow /10

Choice of Words/Idioms/Quotes /10

Details/Settings/Characterization /15

Enjoyable /10

Over All Score /100
Bonus +5 (Story Looks)

Thank You~!

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The following day,I went to school with Xiu.As I entered geography class,I noticed that Jiro wasn't there."Ehem!Today,I'm here to announce that Mr.Wang's son,Jiro has moved to another school."Mr.Rhone said.*What?Jiro moved to another school?*The sit in front of me was empty.I shouldn't be thinking of him anymore.I need to focus on the lesson and not on him besides I and Xiu are dating tonight.After class I went to Xiu's locker."Don't be late later,okay?"I said."Yeah!"Xiu replied.I suddenly looked onto the locker beside Xiu's.It's Jiro's locker.Why is he stuck on my mind anyway?I'm through with him and I should not--"Cyndi!Trust me,I will make you happy and forget about him."Xiu said."I trust you!"I replied.After school,I went home while Xiu accompanied me since we live in the same building.I went to my bedroom.Jiro's bed was still there.I started to cry.What's wrong with me?I'm not being me.I forgave him already but I didn't give him another chance because I'm afraid that I'd be hurt in the end just like my crush in grade school who has forgotten about me.It took me years to forget about him and now that I have moved on,Jiro came along.It hasn't been a day since you left but I already miss you.I miss your existence.In this room,everything that I see reminds me of you.This room,in this room was my first kiss.This kitchen,when I cooked with you.This sauce,it reminds me of memories of us fighting like a dog and cat.Saucy Face,Mr.Panda.Your funny names.The times I had to be your servant and even the sumo wrestler coming over.The times I was grouped with you at school.My first time riding in a helicopter to help me get to the airport.The time when we traveled to Philippines to explore.The way you were worried for me when you thought I was kidnapped.I miss those things even the way you snore at the movie theater.Thinking all of those,it makes me laugh and cry at the same time and not knowing that you actually treasure that day we met.Jiro,I really deserve you.I just didn't see it too quickly.I was too narrow minded.I feel so stupid for making the wrong decision because my heart still beats for you.I feel ashamed to myself because I hurt someone's feelings and then making the other have hope in me but to tell the truth,I used Xiu.I just view him as a friend and nothing else and yet I told him that he has a chance.I feel so bad right now.What have I done?The Cyndi I know is not like this.The Cyndi I know is understanding,forgiving and not using others but why did I turn out the opposite way?Jiro's feelings are really sincere because the words he said last night,it means that if I really like that someone,I should let the someone go if I really love them as long as they're happy.It only means that Jiro is willing to let go for me as long as I am happy.He really cares that much.I'm feeling guilty right now for being so mean to him.He doesn't deserve a girl like me who is narrow minded.What am I thinking?I just said earlier that I deserve Jiro and then the next minute I'm saying I don't deserve him again.I guess my mind is really confused right now.I should call Jiro and say sorry.That way,I won't feel guilty anymore.I grabbed my cellphone and contact Jiro."The number you dialed is unavailable.Please try again later."the operator said.I can't reach his cellphone.He probably changed his cellphone number already.I should go to Jiro's house and tell him I'm sorry.If he doesn't want me anymore,I'll accept it because a narrow-minded girl like me deserves that.What will I be saying to him?I might be speechless when I see him.I got it!I'll just write a letter and give it to Calvin and then he'll give it to Jiro.That way,I don't have to face him anymore but I don't know Jiro's address.Who are Jiro's friends at school?It's me and Xiu but who else?Think...think...think...Aha!Sarah!Yeah that's right!If I could remember,Sarah knows that Jiro has a hockey game so they are probably friends so she must know where he lives.I spent hours writing the sorry letter for Jiro and then I went to school to find Sarah.I went to the office to page her name and she came instantly."Sarah,do you know Jiro's home address?I said."Sorry Cyndi,but I don't know where he lives although I have their company number."Sarah said.Sarah gave me the company number and I suddenly thought,why didn't I think to call my parents?They probably know but what would I tell them?Aha!I knew just what to say.I called my parents."Dad!Can you immediately tell me what is Mr.Wang's home address?"I said."Why Cyndi?"dad said."Please please please!It's an emergency."I shouted."Emergency?"dad asked."Uhh...yeah!We had a project and it's due today but Jiro left it at his house."I said."Mr.Wang told me Jiro already changed school,so what's the matter?"dad said."It's our project before,before he even transferred.That's right!"I said."Ohh..let me ask Mr.Wang for a sec."dad said.Dad was gone for a few seconds and came back and he gave me the home address of Jiro.I quickly went to Jiro's house by taking a cab.As I arrived,I was amazed to see his house.It was so huge that I think it's bigger than the white house.I door-belled at the gate.A guard answered the gate."May I please talk to Jiro?"I said."You mean Master Jiro?"the guard said."That's right!May I talk to him please?"I said."And how should I know that you know him?"the guard said."I'm his classmate.Call butler Calvin and he'll tell you that he knows me."I said."I'm sorry Miss but I can't let you in.I just can't let an outsider in because you said you're his classmate."the guard replied."Please it's really important.Believe me!"I said."Sorry but no."the guard said.I started to shout."JIRO!JIRO!JIRO!"I shouted as hard as I could."Miss,please don't make noise or I'll call the police."Who is shouting?"Calvin came."Oh it's you."Calvin said."Is Jiro there?"I asked."He's not here at the moment."Calvin said."Where did he go?"I asked."I'm sorry but Young Master's schedule is to keep private.Can I help you with anything?"Calvin asked."Yes please!Can you please give this letter to Jiro?It's really important.I'm begging you to give it to him."I said."All right.I will,you may go now Miss Cyndi."Calvin said.I hope Jiro would read that letter because I want to let him know that I still care for him.

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A/N:Aww...kinda sad chapter right?but at least Cyndi realized that she still cares for Jiro.Where is Jiro anyway?You'll see. ^___^ Next Chapter:A Date With Xiu:His Purpose Please comment!Thank you for the support! -mbwzy- We are currenlty looking for advertisers,reviewers and graphic designers.If you are interested please apply today at feilunhai.co.nr :)

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"Let us runaway together!"Prince said as we started to run."Prince!I cannot go!"I shouted."This is the only way for us to be happy together!I shall call a rickshaw right away."he replied.Ken was standing at a corner smiling.Ken went back at the mansion and reported to Aaron."Prince did that with GuiGui?"Aaron asked."That is correct.It was already magnificent before..."Ken said."Did GuiGui not resist?"Aaron asked."She was a bit perplexed however...She seemed to go with Prince happily.All according to plan.It all happened as you wish Young Master."Ken replied.Meanwhile,"Let us stay here for today."Prince said.We stopped at a house that Prince rented."It has a nice view."he added."Prince,something like this is not good."I said.Prince glared at me and said,"Are you that afraid of Aaron?Please trust me."*Prince is kind and yet I yearned for him but,now...*"Aaron is my good friend,but he's not a man who'll be able to make you happy,GuiGui.Aaron is the son of a mistress."Prince said."A mistress?"I asked."He's the child born by Aaron's father before he got married.He's taken over the Yan's family,but he lives with un-approving servants in his mansion,and was raised without his parents' love."Prince said.I suddenly remembered Aaron's aunt.*Without love...Murderer of your own family*"He...he said his parents were killed in a fire..."I said."Ah,Aaron lives apart from his family so he's safe,but everyone within the Yan's family gossiped about what he did."Prince added.Aaron told me before,"Murderer of my parents?There's no way I did that."The time he screamed."Waaaah!I'm sorry.Forgive me."*Aaron*"I'm going home!"I shouted."GuiGui?"Prince said."Please let me go back to Aaron's home.I cannot be with you Prince."I shouted.Prince quickly hugged me."There's...no mistake that we're supposed to meet...If only I had met you before Aaron did..."he said.*No,I met Prince first from the time he gave me the handkerchief...When I lived in destitution...If he knew who I really was...*Prince move closer and closer."The truth is that...Prince--"I said but Prince kissed me.*I can't say the truth.If he found out,it'll be the bottom of the sea for me...*I quickly pushed him away."Stop it!"I shouted.Meanwhile at the mansion,Aaron was having dinner."Don't want it?But tonight we have prepared your favourite dish."Ken said."It's boring eating all alone."Aaron replied."Then I shall join you."Ken said."Screw off!"Aaron said.Ken was shocked and was about to cry.Aaron entered the living room and saw GuiGui's apron lying on the chair.He suddenly remembered GuiGui."Stupid woman..."he said.Meanwhile at a house,"GuiGui?"Prince said."Pardon me..."I said."Ah...I sweated a bit so,I'm embarrassed and I have not changed..."I said.*I must refuse in a lady-like manner...*"If that is the case,then please go take a bath.I shall go buy you clothes during that time."Prince said."Y-Yes..."I said."Please take your time."Prince said.*Now's the time to runaway*I wandered around the house but each angle was always locked."It's no good..."I said.*Where's the back-door...Here!*I finally found the back-door and saw Prince."GuiGui?Is the bath not inside?"he asked."Eh?Ah!It seems that way."I said.*Why?*"I thought you said you were going to go buy clothes...I asked someone who works here,won't the bath get cold?"Prince asked.I went inside the bathroom to have a bath.*Prince...did he think I was going to try to runaway so he ambushed me?...What should I do,Aaron?What should I do...*After I took a bath,I wear the clothes Prince bought for me."Hey!The baths here have a good temperature,do they not?"Prince asked."Y-...Yes..."I replied.*Ambushing me again...?*Prince became shocked."This is the first time...I have seen your face without a make-up,GuiGui."he said."I have such a plain face,right?"I said."Not at all!I was surprised because you look like my mother."Prince said.*Prince's mom?*"Eh?I did not think I did..."I said."That woman from before was my stepmother.My mother died a long time ago...so I do not know why I am captivated by you.We shall always be together from now on."he said.*Always?*Prince held my hand and hugged me."GuiGui"he said in soft voice.Meanwhile at the mansion,Aaron was beating up Ken."Young Master?"Ken said."Where the hell is GuiGui?"Aaron said angrily.

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A/N:Please comment!Thanks for the support! ^___^ -mbwzy-

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