Sunday, January 17, 2010 | 4:34 PM |

Chapter 14

STORY REVIEW!!!

Thanks for the review! I know I suck at writing, but I like it anyways.___________________________________________________________
Reviewed by SaMaNtHa @ Candy Land
Title: 2/5
Well since its a on going story I don't know if the title's appropriate for the story. I gave you some points because I am reading some things that might point to the title. But never know!
Poster/Background: 10/10
I liked the poster and bg. It was pretty, it included all your characters but not the fic girl so next time the girl should be on it. The poster gave a feel of what the story was going to be about so it was good! The font was also easy to read. But I think the bg was a little plain, there was Jaejoong's face on it but it should of had the title on it.
Forewords: 5/10
I'll give you half point for this section, because you didn't add a plot/prologue! Its very important to do so because it helps you attract your readers! Its the hook of your story! I gave you half point because you told the readers about the characters, you gave us their names and listed off what they're roles were and also listed their personalities! And you also gave an authors note.
Plot: 5/15
To be honest I read more than enough of these stories. The plot is cliché and also predictable. Stories like yours the girl will end up with the guy which is Jaejoong in your fic, there would also be trouble between him and Rain, it goes on and on. So I'll have to give you only some points.
Creativity/Originality: 5/10
Like I said on the plot, I don't think its original or creative. I'm giving you half point because of how your using the story line. Its a over used storyline but you make it interesting by adding conflicts and I like conflicts because not all stories are happy stories!
Flow: 8/10
I thought ths flow was kind of fast at times but other than that I thought it was good. You did a great job at lengthening the time line for your readers so that was well done.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
I saw some small mistakes here and there. The grammar, there were also some mistakes. I think you were writing and didn't type a certain word so the sentence was weird. So re read and fix your mistakes. The vocabulary was basic! You need to expand your vocabulary. But it'll only help if you understand them! So fixing these mistakes will help you approve.
Characterization: 7/10
I thought you did okay in this section. Since you have a lot of characters you didn't really have time to give us information about all of them. I mostly only know about the fic girl, Rain, and Jaejoong but the rest I don't really know what their personalities are about.
Writing Style: 8/10
Your writing was neat and understandable. But I think you add too much dialogue. Theres more dialogue than writing, itself. You should write more than writing dialogue because it'll help you give the readers more information about the setting and whats happening in the story.
Overall Enjoyment: 3/5
I didn't enjoy it much because it was a predictable plot.
Bonus: 5/5
I hope you don't get discouraged by my reviewing but be ENcourage and work harder!
Total: 66/100

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