Saturday, January 16, 2010 | 5:31 PM |

Chapter 44

Review @ MS

My Sensation [REVIEW]Friday, December 18, 2009
Love Disease
Title: Love Disease
Author: **princess**
URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/grace_dbsk/Reviewer: jjwyl
`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : -3/5
I don’t know whether it was a grammar mistake or what, but I did find the title to be attracting. Love Disease? It’s like you’re trying to say love is something that can be found easily like a disease.
`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -9/10
I thought the poster was really nice and had the same type of feeling as the story. Because the story is about a girl with a heart problem, it could be considered as a sad genre. I felt that the poster did grasp that feeling.
`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -5/10
The foreword didn’t quite really have the urge to continue reading. It was a bit cliché to be honest and there were too much spelling/grammar erros.
`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : -10/15.
At some parts of the story, it was quite interesting, but I found it too cliché. Though I don’t know how the ending will be, but if it’s like most stories, I’m guessing the girl dies?
`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : -8/10
Because you had the character’s profiles already written in the foreword, I was able to read what kind of person they were. It’s just that the profiles you wrote didn’t really seem to be quite the same as how you wrote them in the actual story.
`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : -7/10
I think you should have added something more creative then just a heart problem. You should make it unique and not like any other stories. I felt like your plot was somewhat common.
`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : -2/10
The grammar was really bad for your story. I had to re-read something a couple times to be able to get what you were actually writing. Please try to double check or get someone else to edit next time. There were some places where you should have used a past tense, but you used a present tense. Please be aware of that.
`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : -7/10.
Just the beginning was a bit too fast. And the relationship build-up was a bit too fast. When it comes to feelings, try to slow it down.
`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : -7/15
Don’t make your chapter titles too messy. I find that if the chapter titles are too messy, I don’t like it. I tend to not read it because it doesn’t look very professional. It looks too messy. Try to capitalize the letter after quotation marks. And you should bunch the sentences together to form paragraphs.
`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : -4/5
It was quite nice.
`Total : -62/100
`Bonus : -1/5
Overall Total: -63/100
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Thanks for the review..
http://mysensationsite.blogspot.com/

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