Saturday, January 16, 2010 | 5:15 PM |

Chapter 32

review @ babypaopao

Title : Love Disease
Author : **princess**
Story URL : http://winglin.net/fanfic/grace_dbsk
Status : on-going
Reviewer : BigBangVIPTitle:5/5
I liked the title of the story. I could see how it goes with the plot
Forewords: 9/10
I was able to understand the characters general personalities and what the story was going to be about, without the plot being given away fully.
Poster/Background : 7/10
I liked the poster. It was simple, but nice. However, the quotes on the poster are grammatically incorrect. The background makes it easy to read the text =]
Plot: 17 /20
Girl is sick and finds love with an idol that she doesn’t recognize at first. I’ve seen a lot of stories like this, with this plot. The idea is running a little thin, but I seen you put a twist on it. Instead of being diagnosed with a terminal illness, she had heart problems. That was a good way to make the clichéd plot line your own. =]
Creativity/Originality: 11/15
Again, the idea is cliché, however her reason for being in the hospital, I haven’t seen before. Also, I liked how she would try to sneak out of the hospital, even though it was against her best interest, and how she wanted to be normal and not stuck in the hospital.
Flow: 5/ 5
The story flowed nicely. There was no major time skips that left me wondering what was going on, and how it got to that point.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary:2 / 5
There were so many grammar mistakes, that it took me about 20 minutes to read one chapter. I had to re-read every sentence to understand it. Punctuation marks were missing, there were capitalization errors. It had me confused. I gave you some points though, because I’m not sure if English is your first language or not.
Characterization/Detail: 6/10
You seemed to follow the description of the characters you listed in your forewords without much trouble, which I liked. However, details were vague. More details would have been nice, and made the story more enjoyable.
Writing Style: 7/10
I was glad you noted when there was a POV change. It was a little difficult to understand because of the grammar mistakes, but I could still understand =]
Overall Enjoyment:4 /10
I had a hard time understanding with all the grammar mistakes, and I got frustrated at one point and had to take a break since it took so long to read one chapter, but once I got into the flow of the story and got used to the mistakes, I found myself enjoying it.

Total: 62/ 100
Bonus:5 / 5
I’m not the biggest fan of DBSK, but I do love reading stories about them. It’s fun~ So, I’m being a little biased here, but who isn’t every now and then eh? HAHA. Keep updating, and work on your English grammar. And please don’t hate me, I’m just trying to give an honest and hopefully helpful review.
FIGHTING!
GRAND TOTAL: 67/100
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Thanks for the review BigBangVIP
even though the score is low it's ok^^ I'm not mad.
atleast your honest^^ i hope i can request a review soon^^
and also thanks to babypaopao^^
visit @
http://babypaopaowrites.webs.com/
thanks^^

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