Monday, December 28, 2009 | 12:26 AM |

Review :)
Title: Rebirth+
Author: mbwzy
Reviewer: morning_glory@artsyasiancrew.co.nr


Title 4/5 Your title makes sense, and I would click on it in Winglin’s story list to see what it was about.

Forewords 7/10 Your forewords are simple, and explain everything. But your grammar could use some work in the beginning. Also, is Jiro’s other name Danielle or Daniel? I was a bit confused. If you would like me to rewrite your forewords for you, just email me. :)

Plot 14/20 Your plot was interesting at first, but then when you started talking about the reincarnations and such, I got a bit confused. There wasn’t anything really special that would’ve made it really stand out. But your idea of the reincarnation was a good idea, Its just that you could have used a better way to write it.

Originality 2/5 Your plot is original in some aspects, like the reincarnations and the heart necklace. The beginning was also interesting. But, I lost interest around the middle of your story, because you squished the paragraphs together, and made it hard to read.

Grammar/Spelling/Transitions 7/15 Your grammar could use more improvement. There were some spelling mistakes, but more grammar problems. I would suggest that you get a beta reader, from season-of-mist.blogspot.com. They can help you improve your grammar and writing style.

Flow (speed of the story) 3/10 The flow of the story was too fast. It felt rushed. The whole time, I felt that it was just too fast, there was no time to actually enjoy the story.

Choice of words/Idiom/quotes 4/10 There were no quotes to talk about; your choice of words could be more sophisticated; try to use bigger words more often.

Details/Settings/Characterization 6/15 There were barely any details, and I didn’t really get to know each of their characters, their personalities didn’t come out. You didn’t really give many details, you just talked about their actions, and thoughts.

Enjoyable? 4/10 It was a bit hard to read, because you put everything together, and it’s all squished together. Also, your story wasn’t really the best, because it didn’t really make sense, and it didn’t flow together. But it was a good plot. :) Continue writing and please don’t take my comments the wrong way.

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