Foreword: Hi There Readers! This story,I used it for my english project recently. Enjoy Reading! ^__^ It's like the OVA of Samurai Warriors if you have read my fanfic "SAMURAI WARRIORS" but this one is just less characters but hope you still like it. Please post your comments or questions on the cbox right on top of our BLOG.Xie Xie Ni!
Five hundred years ago, a witch was cursed into the mirror.Since then people believed that the mirror was also cursed. Many have said that by gaining the mirror, you'll gain tremendous power. Three hundred years later, the mirror was entrusted to Kanazawa Empire. They ruled the whole place and it reached the knowing of the leader of the Kaguya Empire. They became enemies.
Emperor Aaron, the leader of the Kanazawa Empire appears to have light brown hair, dark eyes and a medium built body. He is soft-hearted and generous that's why he's been used and betrayed by his people. Emperor Chun, the leader of the Kaguya Empire is strong, vicious, aggressive, and heartless. He appears to have strong facial features,tall and well built body. Chun wanted to gain more power so he aimed in claiming the Cursed Mirror and so the war began.
Both leaders of the mentioned empires fight for the possession of the cursed mirror. "I'll risk my life in protecting the Cursed Mirror." Emperor Aaron said. "Everyone in your empire already betrayed you, you're all alone now even you risk your life, I'll still get my hands on that mirror." Emperor Chun said. The fight lasted for hours and Emperor Aaron became weak and said,"The Chosen Ones are coming," then he died peacefully. Emperor Chun earned his victory and became the ruler of both empires. He also gained the Cursed Mirror. He used it in his evil doings and made the people suffer by the power of the Cursed Mirror. One day, the mirror went missing by itself. Emperor Chun became mad and asked his soldiers to find it but it was nowhere to be seen.
Two hundred years later, an antique shop opened in Taiwan and there was the Cursed Mirror. Three high school students entered the newly opened antique shop. Jiro is fifteen years old and a sophomore student, the older fraternal twin of Jamie. Jiro appears to be tall, have dark brown eyes and heart-shaped face. He's a cheerful and funny person but hides his feelings at times. Jamie is fifteen years old and a sophomore student. She is the younger fraternal twin of Jiro. She appears to be petite, short black hair, and almond shape eyes. She's quiet,mysterious but friendly. Monica is fifteen years old and a sophomore student. She has a round face.She used to be moody and lacks in patience but a very dependable friend.
As soon as they entered the shop, a young man approached them. The shop owner's name is Calvin who appears to be tall, has dark brown hair and small eyes. He look mysterious and is a calm person. As he approached The Chosen Ones, he gave them the "Power Stones." Please keep theres, the earth and empires freedom relies on these stones." As soon as they touched the stones, it gleamed very brightly. "What is he talking about?" Jiro said. "Should we trust him? He's a stranger and we just met him."Jamie said. "I don't know but it's free anyway so let's take it!"Monica said.
The three students accepted the power stones but they seemed confused about what Calvin is talking about. They're about to exit the antique shop when suddenly, Monica found the cursed mirror interesting. "Guys!Look!This is the Cursed Mirror that we studied in History today."Monica said.Jiro and Jamie followed her to tell her that they're about to go."Monica!Let's go!"Jiro said."We still have lots of homework to do!"Jamie added. The twins bumped into each other which caused them to touch the mirror. The cursed mirror lit brightly. The Cursed Mirror suddenly brightens."Whoa!Monica,what did you do?"Jiro said."I didn't do anything,you two pushed me."Monica said."Oh no!It's pulling us inside."Jamie said. They can't held any longer and they're withdrawn inside bringing them into another dimension.
It was raining very hard. The sky is cloudy and there were thunders. The place was gloomy and creepy. There was no one around."What place is this?It looks like a typhoon crashed into this place."Jiro said. "Who knows?We've got to find out.Let's take a walk."Jamie said.They roam around the town for an hour but still empty. "I'm so exhausted."Monica said. "Don't worry, I'm sure we'll find somebody who can help us."Jamie replied. Then, a dark shadow appeared in front of them."Hey!You're the guy from the antique shop!"Jiro asked."Yes Iam."Calvin answered."How did you get in here?"Jamie asked."Because this is my real home. I am the best soldier of the Kanazawa Empire and the right hand of the emperor. I was in your dimension to protect the mirror and I am here again to protect you."Calvin said."I can only guide you here in the empire.It's up to you and the stones in your possession how can you go back to your dimension.You have to unlock the curse behind the mirror so it will not affect even the dimension you live in.I took away the mirror from Emperor Chun to stop his evil doings. Will you help me?Will you help me save the Kanazawa Empire and the rest of the world?"Calvin said."How was the emperor able to control the mirror if it's located in our dimension?"Jiro asked. "He is able to control the mirror with the power of mind. He commanded the mirror to spread all the evil doings on his mind and let the mirror do the chores."Calvin said."How do we unlock the curse?"Jamie asked."The only way is to fine the ancient triangle on the top of Kanazawa Mountain."You need to put the three stones in the trinagle and it will unlock the curse. But beware,there are lots of traps inside."Calvin said.The Chosen Ones decided to help Calvin and the Kanazawa Empire.
They immediately rushed to the Kanazawa Empire and went to the mountain. As soon as they reached the gate, hundreds of soldiers attacked them. The Chosen Ones quickly pulled out the power stones and used them as their shield. The soldiers tried to attack them again and again but it won't take effect because the power stones have extraordinary powers to defend the Chosen Ones.
After surpassing the soldiers, the Chosen Ones quickly went up to the top of the Kanazawa Temple located on the mountains. They we're about to get their hands on the ancient triangle when Emperor Chun showed up. He took out his sword and planned to kill the three."You think you'll win?Surpass me first."Emperor Chun said. "We'll used what we've got in order to protect the villagers and the earth too."Monica said."We'll never loose to you.Never!"Jiro shouted."Even if it will cost out lives."Jamie said."I heard the same line before,it reminds me of Emperor Aaron.Poor him!Enough talking and let's fight lil brats!"Emperor Chun said.
The Chosen Ones used the power stones as their shield and made Emperor Chun dizzy."Little Brats!"Emperor Chun said as he stepped backward and fell the temple. They put the power stones into each angle of the ancient triangle. The triangle brightens and the mirror was uncursed. The soldiers that they have defeated were actually the villagers who live in both empires.The Chosen Ones saved not only the villagers but also,they saved the dimension from being affect by the mirror's powers.They were teleported back to Earth and found out that the antique shop never existed because it's an empty lot. After that incident,they continued with their normal lives.
Author: mbwzy
Title: Mirror
Reviewer: hae-gi33
Title: 4/5
Mirror? That got me interested, it wasn't anything mirror, it was just plain old mirror. I'm a person of interest so I just had to take a look.
Poster: 8/10
I didn't really see a mirro there, I saw Jiro and the two girls and I felt that it was a bit boring. Maybe having a mirror behind them would look astoudning.
Forewords: 9/10
I just took the first paragraph hoping that it was the foreword, and it tells what it's practically much about so it was good.
Attention: 15/15
You had my full undivided attention on this one! I got me all excited~
Originality: 14/15
It was definitely something different. It took place in two different dimensions which always makes me want to think about a lot of stuff.
Flow: 7/10
I know it's a short story, but I thought it was so fast. There wasn't so much expression when the three went to the land almost two hundred years ago!
Grammar/Vocabulary: 13/15
Not much that I could pick up on grammar but vocabulary helps around a lot when you're trying to abrige your stories shorter without leaving the important part in the concise story (<-- two words lol XD)
Characterization: 8/10
You explained Aaron and Chun well but not so much with Jiro, Jamie, and Monica. I just felt that they were left out of the story when they were the main characters.
Overall Enjoyment: 9/10
I just felt that you could have written me more, but I still loved it, the bit of mystery and hwo the Chosen Ones finally meet the MIrror.
Bonus: 5/5
Total: 92/100
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