Simply Imperfect

One day a girl named Mylene borrowed a book called “Trap or Escape?”from

the library because she will use it for her book review project. She lives in

Taiwan

. She

is 15 years old and appears to have black hair, brown eyes, darker skin, wears bright

colors, and likes to explore things. She picked up her Brother Josh, from school and

they wait for their brother Eman to ride them home. Josh Is 13 year’s old, black hair,

brown eyes, thin, and likes to go on adventures. Eman, 25 years old and the oldest

among the three. He is in charge of guarding his siblings since their parents work in

America

. He appears to be skinny, tall, quiet and he likes to read books.

When they arrived home, she decided to read the book with her brothers. They

read it together in the living room and when they were reading it, a black magic pulled

them in the book. A mysterious person spoke, “Welcome! You are now trapped in this

book.” Mylene asked, “What do you mean we’re trapped?” The mysterious person

spoke again, “You have to face the challenges to be able to escape here. Josh asked,

“What challenges? Let us out of here!” The mysterious person said, “No one has

escaped this book, all of them failed and ended up dying because they weren’t able to

defeat and face my challenge,” he said, “After I vanished, there will be one hundred

doors in front of you and each of you has to pick one door and defeat whoever is In that

door but there is one door that will lead you in succeeding this challenge, if you are

lucky and found this door, I will set you free in this book. Good Luck!” Eman asked,

“How can we defeat them? We’re just normal people.” It was too late because the voice

vanished and one hundred doors appeared.

Eman picked door seven because he thought that seven was a lucky number.

Josh and Mylene cannot open others and will have to wait. The doors can be only open

if the battle is finish. Door seven opened. It was very bright and the room was all white.

“Aahh…I can’t see clearly, it’s too bright,” Eman said. A shadow appeared in the room.

“Hey you, if you want to escape this book, you’ll have to defeat me first,” Shadow said,

“Well catch me if you can.” Eman ran and ran but he can’t catch the shadow. “I’m tired

already but I must not give up, I must think of a way to make the shadow vanish,” he

said. Eman think of a plan while Shadow was enjoying running around the room. “Aha,

I’ve got it. Shadow can’t be seen without light, all I have to do is turn of the light,” he

said on his mind. Eman looked for the switch and finally found it. He turned off the

lights. “You, you found my weakness,” Shadow said. The lights vanished and when he

turned on the lights, Shadow was gone. He defeated Shadow.

Now there’s only Josh and Mylene. One of them must found the lucky door or

else the three of them we’ll be trapped in the book forever even if they defeated

whoever is behind that door. Josh picked door ninety because his grade in math is

ninety and it could be the right door.. When he entered door ninety, the room was

empty and he thought that it was the lucky door but it wasn’t, a giant fireball showed up

and looks really mad. “How dare you enter this room? You disturb me from my sleep.

Listen kid, you’ll pay for this,” said Giant Fireball. “I can defeat you even I’m a normal

person. I’ll do whatever it takes to save my siblings,” Josh said. Giant Fireball attacked

Josh with fireballs everywhere in the room. He ran quickly as he can for his siblings. He

thinks clearly and looked over the room. He saw a hose and got an idea that he would

use it to defeat Giant Fireball. He used the hose and when Giant Fireball saw it, he ran

fast and wanted to escape but it was too late, the water hit him and he was gone. Josh

won against Giant Fireball.

The problem is Mylene is the only one left among the three. Eman defeated

Shadow and Josh defeated Giant Fireball but what about the lucky door? Mylene has

to pick the right door or else they would end up trapped in that book forever. Mylene

was scared and nervous to pick a door because she might pick the wrong one. There

are only ninety-eight doors left. The probability of getting the lucky door is difficult.

Mylene think it over before picking the door and remembered that her parents

anniversary was May 27^th. She thought twenty-seven could be the lucky door and she

hope that it will be. She chose door twenty-seven and when she entered the room was

empty again. She was in panic at that moment because Josh thought the room was

empty too but it wasn’t. She hopes it’s the right door.

The room became very bright and an eye appeared. He called Josh and Eman

in the room. It was the mysterious person voice and said, “You are the first three

people who have surpassed my challenges. For that, I apologize for this matter and the

three of you deserved to have this reward,” he said, “I am giving each of you this Feng

Long Tie , you put it on your neck, it will give you supernatural powers. This is a sign of

my thanks to the three of you,” he said. “But how do we use this?” said Mylene. “Just

take it off your neck and you’ll know. I want the three of you to use this so help other

people and not for your own good only. I can see that the three of you are kind-hearted

and you are the desired one that I can’t trust. May we meet again,” said the mysterious

person. Everything vanished and they we’re back on Earth. The book was gone but the

Feng Long Tie’s on their neck are still in there. Mylene has the power of lightning and

fire, Eman has the power of wind and water, and Josh has the power speed and

flying.They didn’t fail the mysterious person’s trust in them; they used it to help people

who are in need and save the world from evil people.

Review for mbwzy

Title: 100 Doors
Author: mbwzy
URL: http://fahrenheitfanfics.blogspot.com/2009/08/100-doors-by-mbwzy.html
Reviewer: rawr @ http://www.lonesomesprint.blogspot.com/

Title: 5/5- Interesting choice of title. I have never heard of a title like this before. Unique and original.

Poster/Background: 6/10- Your poster was wonderfully done, but I don’t really have much to say about your background, since this is from your own blog and not from winglin.

Forewords: 1/10- I didn’t see a foreword, but I believe that you did have a preview of your story, so I gave you a point. Sorry, if this score is really low, because you were lacking a foreword and I graded it as I would with a story in winglin with little to no foreword.

Plot: 14/15- Your plot was different from many plots. I have never read something like this before, but I did take a point off because some parts were a bit cliché.

Creativity/Originality: 15/15- VERY creative and original.

Speed/Flow: 8/10- More or less consistent.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10- There were a few minor mistakes.

Characterization: 4/10- Honestly, I think that your development of your characters were too lacking. They were losing their voices and personalities as your story develop. You are those who do a wonderful job with your plot, but then lacks in character development. You need to develop your characters more, not only your characters, but the descriptions of your settings.

Writing Style: 8/10- It was understandable and neat.

Overall enjoyment: 4/5
Sub Total: 65/100
Bonus:4/5
Total: 69/100- Not bad for your first story. You just need to improve on your development of your characters and then you’ll do fine. Jia You! :)

Post a Comment

Review for mbwzy